Where we are

So, I know it has been a while since I’ve shared anything about our adoption process here on the ole blog.  I am not really sure why that is?  We have definitely made a ton of progress and are nearing the final weeks before traveling to get our sweet girl!  I guess it has just been difficult to articulate exactly what we are feeling/going through.  I mean, how do you explain what it feels like to have one of your babies on the other side of the world? 

It is crazy how many emotions and feelings swirl around my brain simultaneously!  I am elated that God has shown us our little girl and given us what I am confident is the best match for our family.  I am aching that Lottie is quickly approaching two years that she has had to live without a family of her own.  I am grieving the things we have missed in her first two years of life.  I am rejoicing that she has been cared for and loved on by a dear foster family.  I am anxious about traveling and meeting Lottie.  I am concerned about how difficult her transition away from her foster family and into our family will be.  I am so excited that she will be in our arms so soon and equally as frantic that it is coming so quickly!  I am feeling ALL of these things at any moment of every day.  All the while, life at home must continue.  We keep our normal schedules, we care for our kids, we do the daily, mundane things.  Maddening! 

It is amazing how much you can miss someone you don’t even know.  How deep love can precede sight.  I can only explain it as God knitting our family together and, even now, building a bond between a mother and child.  I know it is God, the father to the fatherless, that sets the lonely in families (Psalm 68:5-6).  He has done that in our family for sure.  There is a void, someone missing from the table, we are not complete and won’t feel back in balance until she is home. 

All of these emotions seem debilitating at times because, throughout much of the adoption process, there is nothing we can do to move closer to her and are left to simply wait.  So that is what we are doing.  Waiting with recognition that it is not in vain and not without purpose.  That we are, in fact, moving closer to her, but at the same time, we are moving closer to God.  He is not just changing our family in this process, He is changing us. 

Singer Aaron Keyes in his song, “Sovereign Over Us” writes these lyrics that I can identify so closely with at this point in our journey: “You are working in our waiting, sanctifying us.  When beyond our understanding, you’re teaching us to trust.”

So, let’s add thankful to the list of emotions that run through my head at any given minute! 

Thanks for sticking with us on this crazy journey and forgive me for not blogging about this more regularly.  Sometimes I just don’t have the words.  Leaving you with the most recent picture of our Lottie girl!  We are coming soon sweetheart!